This is an adaptation of “How to remove a tree stump.” It describes how a man removed a big tree stump in front of his house using his bare hands. Well almost. It’s a little hilarious, but there are some pointers in it for those who have the energy and time, but not the inclination or money to rent a tree stump removal machine, and have a go at it.
Here’s how it reads:
“This is my account on how to remove tree stumps or dead trees. Or at least it worked well for me…
Last summer, I had a great time in my front yard. I kid you not. It was a workout worthy of Mr Olympia. You see, I was about to get one of the greatest physical challenges of my life. No, I wasn’t entering an “iron man” competition or joining the army. What was it about? Right in my own front yard….my date with destiny unfolded.
On her way out the door one fine morning, my wife looked over at me and said, “Can you dig up that tree today and just remove it? I don’t like it getting in the view. The thing must be dead too.”
I stared out the window at that big tree. Sure, it was dead… But it was still going to outlive me at that rate. How was that possible? It was going to take some brawn and endurance to get that entire baby out of the ground. I needed to know how to remove tree stump roots and all.
No problem, hon. I knew I could get the job done, way before she returned from work….
You may be wondering how to remove tree stump. Well, this is how I went about it. The first thing I did was give the old hunk of wood a once-over. It was about 8 inches wide. Not pretty large, but pretty hefty. I sat down and tried to figure out if I should just call the stump removal guys, or DIY it, there and then. I decided on the latter.
Now, I needed a few tools.
What did I need? Ok, I already gotten me an axe, an all-purpose pry-bar, and a good ole spade for digging. Nothing I left out, right?
I was raring and ready to go...
I whacked the tree at the base with my trusty axe until it came down. There wasn’t much on it as far as branches and leaves went at this point. Once this task was complete, it was time to think about how to remove tree stump.
I grabbed the garden hose and saturated all the dirt surrounding the tree, two feet around the base. I then worked on digging a good sized mote around the tree stump. This allowed me to see how deep it went, and how large those roots were…cool!
The pain comes in…
WOW, it was slow and a real pain in the butt. Nevertheless, I did it slow and steady with the digging spade and my sharp pry-bar. Every once in a while, I would stop cutting and start prying up the stump with the six foot pry-bar. Two hours passed. I was determined to get this stump out at any cost. Harrowing stuff, I tell ya.
Finally, it happened! I lugged that sucker out of the hole and tossed it to the curb with the garbage. After that, it was a cinch to refill the hole with the extra dirt. Now, nobody will know there was even a tree there.
What does it take to get that stump out? It boils down to having only a few basic tools and a whole bunch of energy. If the tree has already been cut down, you don’t even need an axe!
Was I satisfied in the end, having removed that stump? You bet.“
The whole story is basically a primer on how to remove a tree stump, and spend half a weekend doing it. Funny 🙂
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